Are you aiming for work-life balance or for work-life blend? According to a recent article http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/money/6563110/Work-life-blend-catchcry-as-balance-blurs there seems to have been a shift to the work-life blend option, described as where a person in
tegrates work into their home life by using technology and potentially being available 24/7. The surveys indicated that people like the blended approach as this allows them time to attend family events that don't fit the usual work schedule. This raises questions like "how much does 'presence' at work matter to us and why does it matter; what is it that makes us feel the need to be connected to our work 24/7?" and most importantly, "how 'present' are we when we are spending time with our family or friends?"
It used to be that we felt the need for 'presence', to be seen to be present (at work). If we didn't arrive at work early and leave after 6pm maybe the rest of the team or our manager would think we weren't pulling our weight. Some places build that type of culture, and if you happen to leave at 5pm or even worse 4.30 so you can miss the traffic, get home to see the family before dinner (or cook the dinner!) you get those funny looks as you walk out the door; best to sneak out and hope no-one notices. So when we are 'present' at work doing a 55 - 60 hour week we are seen to be effective but we are not necessarily productive, or that nice to be around.
This is what we challenged when we asked for work-life balance - the opportunity for us to have a career and spend quality time with family. We believed this would help achieve greater diversity in the workplace; people with different needs because of culture, family, disability could contribute at work too and develop their careers.
It might look different but blending work into our home life is potentially driven by the same need for 'presence'. Being available 24/7 means sending email at midnight or 1am (and hope someone will notice); calling someone else up at 8pm when in fact it could have waited until the morning; or being available to take that phone call any time night or day. If we do this we must be committed to our jobs - right? Have you ever been out with friends and they either spend the time on their phone talking to someone from work or checking their emails? Or maybe their eyes just constantly stray to the phone to see if an email has arrived. They are with us but not really with us and we certainly aren't having much fun together.
How
do your children or your partner feel when you the phone beeps and your focus shifts, is this the quality time that we are seeking? We may be there in body but we are not there in mind or heart. I suggest that 'presence' (at work or at home) is very different from 'being present' - being in the moment, focussed, giving others our full attention.
So how is it that so many of us are starting to believe that we have to show 'presence', even when we are at home by being available 24/7. What are the thoughts that make us behave in this way? Some of our thoughts might be:
- I am indispensible, there is no one else who can do this
- Other people can't be trusted to do the work so I have to do it all
- I am not quite good enough so must work really hard to prove myself
- That impossible deadline someone else put in place cannot be negotiated
- Times are tough, if I work really hard I won't be the one they choose to lay off.
Where do all these thoughts come from and how helpful are they?
The thoughts are built up through our life experiences into messages we give ourselves - the thoughts are not reality, they are just thoughts, but they are powerful and guide our behaviour. They can be conscious or unconscious. We can choose to let them rule our behaviour, or simply accept them as just thoughts and act positively, choose to behave in a way that has positive consequences and truly expresses who we are .
So do you choose work-life blend or work-life balance?
Work-life blend can potentially be part of work-life balance; we can use the technology to help us get away from the confines of the office and go to the sports practice, the school prize-giving. As long as we can choose not to be available 24/7; and when we are at work or home we can 'be present' and give the people we are with our full attention. What do you think?